Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I KNEW There Were Cameras

I wrote a post a while ago, where I joked about there probably being security cameras in the bathrooms where I work. I had two very strong reasons to suspect this.

1) Those darned automatic water faucets and paper towel dispensers play too good a game with me for it not to be for someone's enjoyment.

2) The little room near the receptionist's desk that the security guards sneak into, barely opening the door wide enough for their bodies to get through, then hurriedly closing it behind them.

I just found out it's true!

Well, not the bathroom part. There aren't any cameras in the bathroom (thank you, Jesus). But there ARE cameras in most of the air ducts!


I was doing my usual bi-weekly lunch shift at the reception desk today when one of my IT buddies opened the door to that little room. And left it open!

You bet I pounced on that opportunity as quickly as I could. Luckily I knew this particular IT buddy was easy to extract information from.

Setting The Stage (Laying The Bait)

Me: Hey there, you'd better close that door before a security guard walks by! They're always going in and out of that room through the smallest crack in the door. Heaven forbid us normal folk see what's in there!

IT Buddy: Actually, all the monitors are in here. They probably don't want anyone to see where the cameras are.


Digging For More Info

Me: Seriously? I KNEW there were cameras! How many are in our department?

IT Buddy: Well, let's see. We're in luck! Only in the air vent over the kitchen, server room and the main hallway. We got off easy because we installed them. Other department have a LOT more. And all the stairwells have hidden cameras, too.

Getting A Bit Sick To My Stomach

Me, trying to keep a light tone: The air vents?

IT Buddy: Yep. Before the building was completed, I had to be over here a lot, and saw them installing the cameras. They're a little eye on the end of a wire!

Me, totally joking, but not: Any in the bathrooms?

IT Buddy: Ummm, not that I know of. I'd better get back to work.

The evasive way he said that, and the red blotches that suddenly started to creep up his cheeks, have me a bit worried. I wouldn't be surprised if he was just trying to save me from utter humiliation. Some secrets ARE better left unknown.

But he needn't have worried. I started suffering from utter humiliation as soon as he said air ducts.

I mean, how many times have I stopped to pick underwear out of my butt in the hallway when no one was looking? How many times have I taken a gigantic bite of salad in the kitchen and smeared ranch all over my face? How many times have I done a million other little things when I thought I was alone that I most definitely wouldn't do in the presence of others? Like a camera?

Too many times to count!

I've done worse at my desk. Like lifting up my shirt to do an under booby scratch. And looking up my nose with my compact mirror to make sure it was all clear.

And now that I think about it, I've even REMOVED MY BRA in my boss' office! No, he was not there. He was out of town and I used his office to take the underwires out of my bra. I did end up giving the window washers a show, but at least I knew they were there!

I really hope that my IT buddy was right in his camera assessment, and that there aren't any in the ducts above my desk or in my boss' office.

I may be humiliated, but at least I know where the darn cameras are, going forward. No more free shows for the security team from me.


  1. Too Funny! I must go back and read about that whole bra incident!

  2. it's always good to know if you are being watched and were you can do humiliate things in your enviroment!

    In my exchange student times in mc donalds, I used to go to the part of the office where the camera can't reach to make out with Kyle! hahaha!!

    Take care,

  3. I know I shouldn't be laughing, but the way you wrote this is absolutely hilarious! I, too, need to go back and read your original post!

  4. This is hilarious! I've done the underwire thing too! I hate those things! Well, I love the support and look, but when one of the wires pokes through....OUCH.

  5. I"ve always wondered about security cameras in big buildings. Good to know. Like you said, no more picking wedgies in the hallways.

  6. I am always looking above me in places that I would so not want to see a camera.
    public restrooms
    tanning beds
    ob gyn exam rooms
    dressing rooms

    Posts like this will probably have me looking harder.

  7. OH. MY. WORD. I would freak...You know what though, at least you know they are there now. You could make a game of it and do really obnoxious and weird things right where there is a good camera view! Just a thought...

  8. This is so funny! I think we as a public, in general, have no idea how much 'other' people know.

    OK, I'm so not a freak about this, but I'm just sayin'...

  9. I dance in my cubicle. Seriously, a good song comes on the radio, and I silently let LOOSE. Lip synching, arms waving, booty-shaking in my chair.

    I, too, just found out that there are security cameras in my office. Where? The air ducts. Where's the nearest air duct? JUST over my desk.

    Is this what the world has come to? There is no safe place to pick your underwear out of your butt crack anymore! It's a travesty!


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