Monday, November 10, 2008

Baby Jesus Went Thud Against The Wall

Last night Gabi crawled into my lap with one of her dolls.

Gabi: Mommy, I'm Mary.

Me: Oh! You're Mary, so this must be baby Jesus!

Gabi: NO mommy, this is a GIRL baby! Jesus was a BOY!

And she climbed right back out of my lap, totally done with me after my huge blunder.

Oh, well excuse me. I thought we liked to use our imaginations! Though the doll did have on a lot of pink. And a big bow in her hair. I guess it would've been hard to imagine it was a boy.

A few minutes later Gabi ran up to me excitedly with one of her boy dolls (a very heavy headed boy doll- this will be important in just a moment).

Gabi: Mommy, mommy! THIS is baby Jesus!

And WHAM. A doll head right to the eye. As pain shot through my head, I impulsively grabbed the doll and threw it hard to my right. It hit the wall on the stair landing with a thud and dropped down to the floor. Sockless. I had knocked the socks right off the poor thing.

And then I realized I had just thrown baby Jesus across the room.

NOT a shining moment for me. In my pain, I wanted that baby doll to pay for making contact with my face. No, not a very appropriate reaction. Yes, apologies were made (to both the doll and to Gabi).

I'm actually a little embarrassed by the whole thing. I can't believe I threw a doll, let alone one that was standing in for our Lord and Savior.

I just really hope that Gabi doesn't bring this up in Sunday School the next time her teacher mentions baby Jesus. I'm pretty sure it would be something slightly unclear. Like, "My mommy was so mad at Jesus that she threw my doll against the wall!" or, "When I told my mommy that my doll was baby Jesus, she grabbed him and threw him at the wall!"

There's really not a good way to spin this one.

Oh, and did I mention that Gabi's Sunday School teacher is part of the pastoral staff?

In my defense, I was a bit hopped up on sugar after eating a Danish when it all went down. I really do love Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I'm sorry I threw you against the wall. I wasn't thinking beyond a hard plastic head painfully blinding me, and wanting that hard plastic head to die. I'm especially sorry that it was you as a baby. Please forgive me. I promise will try to never throw anything that is supposed to be you against the wall ever again. Even if I step on you after Gabi forgets to put you back in the Manger and I can't walk on my foot all day long (you know, with Christmas coming up and all, in case there's a repeat of last year).
Amen With love,


  1. too cute laural...i am sure doll and baby jesus will forgive you! who knew baby jesus was so aggressive?

  2. lol~ I'm sure you are forgiven too. Cute story. Love how Gabi was disturbed that you didn't notice the baby was in fact a girl baby. She's so adorable! ;)

  3. Maybe you should go talk to your pastor just in case. Just to clear it up.

    Well ok just because I think the outcome would be an even funnier post than this one and this one was really funny.

  4. That is the funniest story that I've heard in awhile! Lol!

    Just how you describe the pain to the launching of baby!

    PS-love the Jesus letter, too :)

  5. hilarious friend :)

    as always life in your world seems to make me giggle :)

  6. You. crack. me. up. every. single. time.

    So sorry about baby Jesus.

    I think you should go with Carol's suggestion...I would love to read that post!!!

  7. you are so freaking funny! Since we are watching Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving I am trying very hard not to bust out loud laughing, but I think I made more noise trying to stop myself from laughing out loud!

    Hope your face is feeling better!

  8. Is it bad that I totally laughed? It's cool, I know I am on the train to the hot land.

  9. you could be lucky, she could say that Jeasus smacked you in the head then you threw him against the wall...
    how do you explain that one???

  10. hahaha...that's the best story I've heard in awhile. You crack me up.

  11. LMAO. Well, I'm waiting to hear the explanation when Gabi pulls that story out for show and tell.

  12. I'm sure Jesus would forgive you, of course. I've been hit in the head with hard toys too - it just ain't fun!!!

  13. Laural! If she brings up that on Sunday you gotta let us know! :)


  14. I'm sure He knows you didn't mean it. Actually, you've reminded me of something that happened with Lorelai years ago...there might be a post in this for me too! THANKS

  15. I love that you wrote a letter to Jesus
    and I'm so with you on the spin the little one takes on things that happen at home.

    Poor baby Jesus, he's the one caught in the middle - sockless nonetheless :)

  16. LOL! That is the FUNNIEST thing I have read in a while!
    I am Got Kids, Need Valium's sister!
    You are a funny story teller.
    I liked the part where she got mad at you for not noticing her 1st baby was a girl!

    Yes, you must tell us if she shares it in bible class! You just might have to do some damage control!

  17. That's very funny. Oh the trauma!

  18. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's awesome :D I can just imagine all the ways that Gabi will tell this story. It's just too funny :)

  19. I am sure you have been forgiven:) Esp after writing that sweet apology!

  20. It sounds like Jesus started it.

    I hope an angry anonymous reader doesn't send you scary Bible quotes like they sent me after my post about the lamb that I mutilated. Did you see that?

  21. Best blog post title EVER. :)

  22. Jesus dealt with worse down here ;) if He can forgave us for that, you are totally forgiven ;)

  23. You HAVE to post on it if your daughter tells about in Sunday School. I once had a little girl explain to me that her grandma did not come to church because, "she would rather go to hell than walk through the doors of a church".

    I'm sure grandma never imagined her child would say that in Sunday School!

  24. HAHA! That is too funny! My daughter gave me a fat lip just last week courtesy of a headbutt to the face ... thank goodness baby Jesus wasn't involved!

  25. Thanks for stopping by (and commenting!) on my BATW day!

    This post, by the way, is HILARIOUS. As a Kindergarten teacher, I can ASSURE you that this story will be repeated, and that her teacher will find great joy in it, no matter what circumstances she envisions in her head. :)

  26. Please say 10 Hail Marys, just in case.

  27. Laural, I really liked the new background! So colorful!!! :)

    Congratulations! ;)

  28. lol. sockless- you knocked his socks off. too funny.

    Loving the new set-up!!!

  29. You know, i have little laughs, some out loud laughs, some good belly rumbles on various blogs. But this one today had me laughing from start to finish, and just remembering it makes me laugh again. So funny. This is not my first visit, and it won't be my last. . .
    Thanks Laural :) Now get on over to my blog and pay me a little love back, would ya???!!!

  30. OMG this is hilarious.

    I am a Sunday School teacher and kids tell me things like this all of the time. I teach 2nd graders and they tell the best stories...

  31. Hey, Jesus is all about forgiveness, right? It might take Him a while to get over the trauma. Ouch!

  32. I am cracking up!!!
    Probably since I teach preschool Sunday School and I know the stories they tell. I can just hear it now...

  33. Hahaha!! This was a great post. New to your blog but will definitely be back.

  34. Delightful! It's nice to know I'm not the only one that does stuff like this!


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