Sunday, March 20, 2011
I Had No Idea That The Gout Could Still Be Got
Yes, you read that right. Gilberto has THE GOUT.
Gilberto: What's so funny? What's gout?
Me: I'm so sorry! I just seriously doubt you have GOUT. You're too young and healthy.
Gilberto: Why? What is it? You're freaking me out!
Me: Honey, gout is a disease from the RENAISSANCE. Old, lazy, rich people got it from eating too much meat, or overindulging in wine, or something. It's a totally outdated disease. Like scurvy! I think both even involve wooden legs, or at least amputation.
Me: Don't worry! Hon, you do NOT have gout. This doctor is crazy. You aren't going to end up with a fake leg. And even so, they're made out of metal now, not wood. I think you need to be more concerned about all the looks you're getting because you wore my mom's crocs, which are obviously for a woman and way too small for you.
It turns out Gilberto does indeed have The Gout, and I probably set ourselves up nicely for fate to give him The Scurvy as well, with my big fat arrogant mouth.
at 1:06 PM