Friday, April 22, 2011

In Which The FBI Raids The Neighbors

It was still dark two mornings ago when we were woken up by a metallic BANG!  BANG!  BANG!

Me: Gilberto!  Someone's banging on the screen door!



Me: Oh my God!  Gilberto!  The police want in!

How did the police know that I was thinking about getting a Medical Marijuana Card?  And I was only thinking about it!  For the firbromyalgia pain!  And that's not a crime! 


We lept from the bed and peaked out the window just in time to see the police blow the door open to the house next door.  The boom shook our house and sparks lit up the lawn for a brief moment, revealing men in black crouched in various positions surrounding the house. 

Men with big guns that had laser lights trained on the windows.

Me: It's not for us!

Gilberto: Of course it's not!  Why would it be?

Me: Oh, um, no reason!

A strange rush of relief mixed with curiosity ('cause I'm nosy) and fear ('cause there were HUGE GUNS) washed over me.  Not enough fear to move away from the window, though.  This was the biggest event to happen in the neighborhood in a long time, and I wasn't going to miss any of it!  Especially since a helicopter had just arrived and was hovering over the house with its searchlight on, ready to aid in case there was an escape.

I've recently started watching Criminal Minds, and it was JUST LIKE THAT.  The black, tinted SUVs, the uniforms, the guns, the lasers.  Even the way they entered the house, throwing smoke bombs, crouching on high alert, and then searching in darkness.  They set the vertical blinds swaying and through the moving gaps we could see their flashlight beams as they went room to room, illuminating the swirling smoke.

I don't think it would have surprised me to hear a Director yell out, "Cut!  Great job, guys.  No need for take two!" 

Once the house was secured, the police moved out, sending the hovering helicopter on it's way, and the FBI moved in.  Yep, THE FBI.

What were our neighbors up to that would involve the FBI?  I thought I had the answer when a few agents came outside for a smoke and started to chat about the woman who took their money.  Aha!  Drugs!  Or Prostitution!  Though the woman of the house was pregnant with two kids, so prostitution was pretty unlikely.  So back to drugs!  It made sense because the woman's brother was always slinking around, smoking pot in their driveway and starting fights at their parties.     

But as the morning dragged on, no one was brought out in cuffs.  And when the police and FBI wrapped things up, it didn't look like they'd taken any evidence from inside the house, either. 

Such a dramatic start to the day, such a boring ending. 

My only way to get any info is to offer the daughter a ride home from school.  Which is kinda sleazy, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.  You know?  No?  Aw, fine, then I'm going to try and work up the nerve and talk to the parents directly.  But in an indirect kind of way, like going over to see if they'd like to have my infant car seat.


  1. Wow, intense! It's more exciting than scary when nothing actually happens! hehhe. Oh, and Criminal Minds is such a great show. So suspenseful! So addicting!

  2. Yikes! That's scary! Make sure to let us know what you find out!

  3. Oh yeah....ask the's amazing what kids will say...they innocently will spill every dark secret with a smile on their face and have no qualm about airing the whole story. Anybody with kids can relate to the exposure of an emarrassing detail being told ( usually in front of a large group) where the parents are cowering and mortified. I have memories of those moments like they were yesterday! For example: As we host families over after church:
    Me: You need to be nice
    Child: Why you don't like them anyway!

    Kids are amazing so Laurel ....give the daughter a ride!

  4. Love that you were hovering at the window. Me? I would have been taking pictures, with the hubby behind me threatening to take away every electronic device I own for "flashing" them! ;) glad it wasn't YOUR door!

  5. I would have assumed it was my door too. And I am completely law-abiding and don't have so much as a traffic ticket to my name!
    Wow how exciting!! OF COURSE you have to go find out what happened! ANd let us know too.

  6. I would totally offer the daughter a ride home. And skillfully quiz her.

    And feel kind of gross for doing it. But I'd do it anyway.

    Many years ago, our across the street neighbors got that special police treatment [no FBI, though] and it was AWESOME!

  7. Holy crap, that's scary. I would ask the daughter too. Kids will say just about anything.

  8. hahahahaah, I am sorry to laugh, but that was hilarious! Love the way you narrate things. I am sure there is something really creepy behind this. Now I am curious too!!

  9. Hilarious--what a great way to start the day! I'd be digging for information too!

  10. You always have all the fun!
    Did it wake your kiddos?

  11. Holy moly! So glad they didn't accidentally get your door! We had an incident sorta like that across from a friend's house as she was supposed to meet us for dinner - so she was 45 minutes late but got the full story eventually. The house was a grow house. $2MM in street value of pot inside. The house is still in limbo/legal action, and that was four years ago, I think?

    But find out somehow - because now I want to know!

  12. Oh, you can TOTALLY play the concerned neighbor card!!! " We saw the police at your house! Is everything ok??!"

    I totally had the popo in my front yard once. I was SO scared. A dude ran through my yard, followed a few seconds later by a HUGE police car in the driveway, and then a big police car running through my yard. Worst part? MW and I had just come in from a walk, and the garage door was still wide open. I was shaking, and so grateful that the "suspect" had decided to keep running instead of hiding in my house!!

  13. Wow! That's intense. I would totally need to know!

  14. I want to know now! seriously, all that and it just fizzled? makes ya wonder if they brought out the big guns on a hunch... i'd be scared lol


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