Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Expanding The List Of Kitchen Items That Cannot Be Mothered

Gabi has a habit of trying to mother inanimate objects, like pieces of fruit, with disastrous results.

A few months ago she dressed a butternut squash up in doll clothes, tied her jump rope around it and pretended it was a pet alligator.  I'm still not sure how it happened, but the squash alligator met its end after coming into contact with a kitchen table leg and splitting in three. 

Today I found Gabi in the living room cradling a bag of flour tightly wrapped in a baby blanket.  I let her lug the thing around until I noticed a thin layer of white dust coating her skin. Sure enough, the bag was leaking.

Me: Gabi, we need to put the bag of flour away now. It's leaking.

Gabi: No, mom! It's my sister!

Me: It's only your sister until it explodes all over the floor and creates a huge mess! We are going to avoid that situation, so bring it to me now, please.

Gabi: If that happens I'll clean it up!  You'll ruin everything if you take her away from me now!

Me: Honey, it's not up for discussion. 

Gabi did NOT want to turn over that bag of flour.  We argued a bit more before she shoved it into my arms, sending up a cloud of flour, and started running up the stairs. 

Gabi: FINE, MOTHER!  I hope you're happy that you killed my sister and now I don't have anyone to play with because Mason's SLEEPING!

First, Mason was no longer asleep after that oh so dramatic tantrum on the stairs.

Second, her teenage years ARE NOT GOING TO BE FUN.

The bag of flour is now safely inside a Ziploc bag and back on the cupboard shelf.  Before I put it away, though, I noticed that she'd given the poor bag a face. 

No wonder she was so attached!  It's like naming a stray puppy- it just makes it all the harder to say goodbye.   


  1. oh my god. that's hilarious. And yes, she will be a handful when she's a teen. But at least she's creative...Or maybe that'll be a bad thing when she's a teen too.

  2. I agree, she's creative and has a good imagination. Maybe she needs a kitten or a puppy. :)

  3. OH the imagination of a small child. And the drama of a small girl! I love it! Thanks for the giggle. :)

  4. I am laughing outloud over here.

  5. Oh poor Gabi! How DARE you take away her baby sister! :) I can only laugh because I have a very dramatic 6-year-old.

  6. OMG.. love it! She sounds like a hoot!

  7. Well I can't blame her! How cruel of you to treat a baby so ;) (yes, laughing out loud over here, since I don't have to deal with it!)

  8. Poor kiddo having her mom take away her baby sister because it's leaking all over the floor.

  9. I seriously LOVE your blog. :)

  10. That is so funny. I love kids and their crazy imagination!

  11. Oh no! Poor girl!

    But one day you'll be able to turn the tables on her, and laugh and laugh and laugh that she once acted like a bag of flour was her sister and cried when it was taken away!

  12. Oh how sweet. But ya know, if you'd just buy her a TOY or two, she wouldn't have to make her own toys and friends and siblings from these poor objects ;) Yeah, the teen years are gonna be fun for you. I'll pour a glass of wine and commiserate once we get there!

  13. Hee hee. Jarrah had a sucked-on lollipop stick she told me was named "Stropey." She was so weird about it that I got weird--when I threw it away and she cried, I cried, too. :)

  14. BAHAHAHA. Oh, the dreams I have ruined. This week, Ming Wai spent an hour in her room SCREAMING and wailing because i wouldn't let her play in the car. haha

  15. That is too hilarious! Also? Not just her teen years, but the PRE-TEEN ones too.


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