Gilberto just got home from work.
Me: Honey! Come see what I posted on my blog today.
Gilberto: What is it?
Me: It's a video of a woman that gets bitten by a mosquito and ends up with a fly egg in her scalp that grows into a maggot!
Gilberto: Oh, is it the kind with all the little maggots?
Me: Huh? What?
Gilberto: Yeah, I had that once. On my thumb. Part of it swelled and got really hard, and I couldn't remember hitting it or doing anything that would make it get so big and painful. After a few days I started digging, and when it popped a bunch of little maggots fell out.
Me: Oh my God. Are you serious? What did you do?
Gilberto: I just squeezed them out and then ran my hand under water and put on some alcohol. It wasn't a big deal. So did she have the one that's really big?
Me: Yeah. Just one big one.
Gilberto: My dog used to get those! We had to squish them before pulling them out. In Brasil, though, their heads were kind of hairy!
Me: Oh. Wow. Okay then. You know, I was kind of hoping that the whole mosquito maggot thing was just a WORSE CASE scenario. So let's not talk about it anymore, okay? If we do, you risk me not following you to your homeland.
And that's all we have to say about that.