Saturday, August 30, 2008

Watermelon Baby

Gabi is standing at the table in tears, begging me not cut up the baby watermelon we bought at the grocery store this morning. I'm ignoring her because I'm SO OVER the watermelon already.

If I'd have known how much trouble this watermelon was going to cause me, I would've left it far far behind.

When she asked to get one, I thought, that's great! She's asking for fruit! We'll have it as an afternoon snack! I even let her take forEVER picking just the right one because I was so excited that she wasn't asking for candy.

I didn't think much of her wanting to carry it around the store cradled in her arms, giving it kisses and telling it that everything was going to be okay, because, well, I figured it was keeping her distracted from asking for candy.

But when we got home and she ran right up to her daddy and asked him to draw a face on her baby, I started to realize that maybe she wasn't interested so much in EATING the watermelon as in mothering it, and maybe candy would've been a better option.

Because watermelons aren't the greatest pretend babies. One wrong move and it will smash to the ground in a million wet and sticky pieces. A corncob, on the other hand, would make a great doll. Or even a baguette. But not a watermelon.

Gabi carried her watermelon baby around in a blanket for hours and mothered the heck out of it. I can tell she's going to be a good big sister some day, but the thought of splattered watermelon guts was constantly on my mind, and I waited for a time to sweep in and remove the watermelon without her noticing.

Finally, Gabi put the her new baby to bed, and after a few minutes I snuck over and whisked the watermelon away. And the timing couldn't have been more perfect, because that watermelon had gotten considerably softer since we brought it home. Just one more toss into the cradle, and I would've been down on my hands and knees cleaning it all up.

I was hoping Gabi would forget about her baby, but like a good mother she went to check on her sleeping watermelon baby and found it missing. Oh my goodness, you'd think I'd taken away a live puppy by the way she's behaving.

For the past hour I've been trying to explain to her that watermelons are NOT for playing with, but it wasn't sinking in. So I finally yelled, "Watermelons are FOOD! We bought it to EAT! No more asking to hold it! We are going to EAT IT!"

And that brings us to Gabi, still standing at the table, begging me not to cut up her baby. Or at least let her have the cantaloupe?

I think I'm going to give the watermelon the neighbor after she goes to bed, and if she asks about it in the morning, pretend that the watermelon fairy came in the middle of the night to take it to a watermelon family that didn't have a baby.

I mean, she believed the whole binky fairy thing.

And no more large round fruits for a while.


  1. Wow, I'm absolutely floored at the dedication and imagination in your daughter. What's this about being a great big sister??? Is my pregnancy brain playing tricks on me again?

  2. I am cracking up, though feeling for you that you can't eat enjoy your watermelon. Maybe you can freeze the watermelon and make drinks. (
    I was cracking up at your grocery store baby suggestions..corn, are too funny.

  3. Corn babies eh? LOL that's too funny! I can just imagine the poor baby's guts all over your floor .. eeek!

  4. Oh my, that's just too funny! But then again, I can feel your frustration too. *rolling eyes with you* kids!

  5. if she ever makes the meat connection you are screwed.

  6. That is too delicious. And where were you when we didn't have a baby? We could have used that watermelon. ;)

    The other day, Jarrah sucked the hell out of a lollipop, bent the top 1/2-inch of the wet stick, and told me it was her friend, Stropey. (Stropey!) Stropey spoke in a high-pitched voice about how much he enjoyed Target, and when he got "lost" in the trashcan later, she cried and said "I miss Stropey."

    And I'm such a freak that I actually felt like crying, too. Poor Stropey. I can't believe I threw him away.

  7. OMG...that is so funny. I only wish Eva would want to play mommy to anything...

  8. wait a minute...big sister?? where did that come from?? do you mean someday or was that your way of announcing some big news??

    poor gabi - who knew watermelon babies could love their mommies so deeply??

  9. Ummm... HAHAHAHAHA!!! That's awesome. I can so totally see my niece doing that :D I love that it's so real to her. Not a hint of hesitation. I mean, that is her baby. What kind of monster eats a baby? Hahaha! Anyway... I hope the watermelon fairy was gentle ;)

  10. That is sooo funny. When kids get an idea in their heads, there is no stopping them:-)

    Thanks for voting for me. The next time I need an extra taster, I will give you a jingle:-) Hee, hee, hee.

  11. Maybe you can replace it with an orange??

  12. that is pretty much hilarious. i could totally see myself doing that as a kid. and i'm pretty sure i'll end up with one just like that haha!

  13. THAT is hysterical!

    My girls have about 12 babies combined and one of them was made by my 5 year old in preschool. It is a baby Jesus made out of socks - one of their favorite babies. It should come as no surprise, He is always a good baby and never gets in trouble like the other dolls.

  14. That's too cute--she has a sensitive soul :)
    Hope you can eat it soon!

  15. That's just one more reason why you shouldn't grocery shop with your children. Ha!
    She sure sounds like a sweetie pie!

  16. I just hope it stops with the watermelon! LOL imagine if she decides to take a good look around next time you go shopping? I can see baby oranges, apples, pears - YAY, pears would make an interesting ones! hehehe

    Let us know what happens with the baby, ok? ;)


  17. Oh my goodness! that is so cute, hope your watermelon baby finds a good home (or a good blender as Susan suggested.)

  18. LOL! I'll be sure to stay away from baby watermelons. I can totally see that scene playing out in my house.

  19. My husband grew up on a farm, where they had a pig that he got attached to and named Petunia. This did NOT stop his hard-as-nails, live-off-the-land farmer dad from slaughtering Petunia and serving her up for breakfast one morning.

    The hubs took one bite of bacon that morning and asked "Is this Petunia?" His mom said yes, and his reaction was... "She tastes good!"

    I don't really know why I felt the need to share this. Gabi's baby watermelon just reminded me of it, I guess. Maybe the lesson here is, at least the watermelon wasn't a pig?

    Yeah, I don't know either.

  20. It's like the flower petals all over again!

  21. That is SO darn cute...I have to concur with fawn...I really admire Gabi's commitment.

  22. That is the best story I have read ALL week! Good luck with the watermelon fairy!!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and taking a look at the state of Colorado! Come back any time!

  23. I thought that would happen with live things, like animals!

    Anyway... Gabi always have the funniest stories in your blog! Kudos for her! hehehe


  24. P.S.: Kudos for you too, for thinking very fast and come up with the best answers ever! ;)

  25. That is toooo funny! When you look at it through her eyes of a "baby" watermelon, it makes sense, but oh goodness, what a crazy day! You seriously have the funniest stories!

  26. Fruit-based baby? That's a new one on me. It must be a nightmare in the fruit and veg section of the supermarket!
    In what world did she think a big green round watermelon would ever look like a baby - face drawn on or not!

  27. Duly noted. Must not bring home large round melons in front of my own lil G as she will probably want to adopt it.


    This was too funny and sorta reminiscent of those stupid "flour babies" we had in Sex Ed/Healthy Living wayyyy back in high school. One more drop of the old flour sack, oops I mean BABY and it was all over!

  28. Oh my goodness, could you maybe replace the watermelon with a real baby doll? Maybe even a life-like baby doll?

    btw, that was so funny, I can totally see the same exact thing happening in my house.

  29. You kill me, well you and Gabi. Good luck cutting out large-ish round fruits out of your diets.

    For once, I'm happy I have all boys - no baby huggin' around here.


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