When Four Garlic Cloves Aren't Enough

We went out for Italian food on Friday night, and my pee STILL smells like garlic.

Given, I ate at least 20 roasted garlic cloves, probably more, but they were truly irresistible. Roasted to a beautiful golden color, just a few darkened bits here and there, they were soft and gooey, and smelled divine. Not a bitter one among them. Pure perfection.

But I won't be eating that many at one sitting EVER again.

I guess I didn't know that 20 cloves of garlic is considered a bit excessive. I've had run-ins with large amounts of roasted garlic before, but have always stopped at around 10. And, yes, the results haven't been entirely pleasant, but nothing to worry about, either. Who hasn't had a bit of bad breath or smelly pee for a day? Totally worth it, in my book. 20 didn't seem like that much more. And it was just SO good.

When I asked my sister in the car on the way home if she'd had any of the roasted garlic (I was apparently too busy scarfing mine down to notice if anyone else got any), she said, "Yes, I had four!"

To which I responded, "Only four?"

To which she responded, "Um, yeah. That's quite enough garlic for the average person." And then went on to elaborate why.

So I quickly shut my trap and didn't tell her how many I'D had, and started hoping I wasn't an average person.

As my luck would have it, it turns out I AM an average person when it comes to garlic.

My pee smelled strong enough to knock someone out for two straight days.

And, of course, there's the little known side effect (or is it just little talked about?). Gas. Not only did that much garlic extend my intestines to unimaginable sizes, it made the gas it created smell ESPECIALLY garlicky. Way worse than the pee.

I was just one big stinking garlicky mess for the whole weekend. My pee, my pores, my breath and, unfortunately, my gas.

But, seriously, considering my love for garlic, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Better that it was on a weekend, with just my family to smell witness my overload. Oh, and the people at church. But I don't think anyone there saw me leave the bathroom, so it's still a mystery as to who stunk it up.

Thankfully today the only thing still affected is my pee. Everything else has returned to normal.

Lesson learned! Next time we go for Italian, I'll try the average four, and just chew each one for a really long time.

Oh, who am I kidding. Four my ass. Next time, I'll stick with the normal 10.