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Monday, August 4, 2008

When Four Garlic Cloves Aren't Enough


We went out for Italian food on Friday night, and my pee STILL smells like garlic.

Given, I ate at least 20 roasted garlic cloves, probably more, but they were truly irresistible. Roasted to a beautiful golden color, just a few darkened bits here and there, they were soft and gooey, and smelled divine. Not a bitter one among them. Pure perfection.

But I won't be eating that many at one sitting EVER again.

I guess I didn't know that 20 cloves of garlic is considered a bit excessive. I've had run-ins with large amounts of roasted garlic before, but have always stopped at around 10. And, yes, the results haven't been entirely pleasant, but nothing to worry about, either. Who hasn't had a bit of bad breath or smelly pee for a day? Totally worth it, in my book. 20 didn't seem like that much more. And it was just SO good.

When I asked my sister in the car on the way home if she'd had any of the roasted garlic (I was apparently too busy scarfing mine down to notice if anyone else got any), she said, "Yes, I had four!"

To which I responded, "Only four?"

To which she responded, "Um, yeah. That's quite enough garlic for the average person." And then went on to elaborate why.

So I quickly shut my trap and didn't tell her how many I'D had, and started hoping I wasn't an average person.

As my luck would have it, it turns out I AM an average person when it comes to garlic.

My pee smelled strong enough to knock someone out for two straight days.

And, of course, there's the little known side effect (or is it just little talked about?). Gas. Not only did that much garlic extend my intestines to unimaginable sizes, it made the gas it created smell ESPECIALLY garlicky. Way worse than the pee.

I was just one big stinking garlicky mess for the whole weekend. My pee, my pores, my breath and, unfortunately, my gas.

But, seriously, considering my love for garlic, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Better that it was on a weekend, with just my family to smell witness my overload. Oh, and the people at church. But I don't think anyone there saw me leave the bathroom, so it's still a mystery as to who stunk it up.

Thankfully today the only thing still affected is my pee. Everything else has returned to normal.

Lesson learned! Next time we go for Italian, I'll try the average four, and just chew each one for a really long time.

Oh, who am I kidding. Four my ass. Next time, I'll stick with the normal 10.

37 comments:

  1. Mmmmmm, garlic. Like you, I believe it's worth a little discomfort.

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  2. Ewww.. I don't like garlic, it tastes so bad!

    And I've always been a good girl! Not because I didn't wait to be evil.. haha.. just because I was afraid of my parents! They already complain about me a lot, imagine if I was worse!

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  3. I am so rofl.... you crack me up. I too love garlic. Yummmm!!! When I eat it, I make sure that those around me are eating it too! lol ;)

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  4. honey seriously.

    can't stop laughing!!

    thanks for sharing :)

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  5. That's too funny! I love garlic, but I'm probably just average. And I've never heard of just eating roasted garlic before. I'll have to try it sometime.

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  6. That was funny. At least you didn't have to worry about vampires.

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  7. thanks for stopping by my blog:) this post is just too funny!!! Love it and love me some garlic too! 20 is a lot, well noted for future reference!

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  8. Laural, you ALWAYS crack me up! Haha!! You are too funny :) I'm glad everything except the pee is back to normal :) I love garlic, too...yum!
    --I pierced my nose! I love it, you were sooo right :)
    --Did you get the book yet? I hope it's gotten there! And I hope you love it!

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  9. I love garlic - and I probably would have done the same thing. :)

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  10. Hahahaha, this was hilarious Laral! I am like that, when I like something I will eat a lot of it, and won't worry about the consequences until they are happening. hehe :)

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  11. haha! I'm a garlic lover too but my hubby forbids me from overindulging. Something about his not liking to kiss a garlic breath mouth...

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  12. How funny. I ate a garlic pizza last Friday - there was more garlic on it than I thought was humanly possible. As a result I farted all weekend. My husband was not happy!!

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  13. Gas, stinky pee, bad breath - this is my kind of post!

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  14. Haha! I love it!
    I too am a garlicaholic. I LOVE the stuff :) It's just so good! Everytime I cook with it, I secretly love the fact that my hands smell like garlic the entire next day.
    So, thanks for the warning, I now know to limit myself in the future ;)

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  15. I had this fabulous bruchetta at a restaurant when we were on a trip for hubby's job. I WREAKED of garlic for two days and we had a special dinner the night after I ate it. I didn't talk to anyone...

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  16. Glad to know this....glad I came here from Nanny Goats in Panties or I might have eaten too much garlic.

    Wow...very descriptive outcome painted here!

    Like your site.Hope to keep exploring it a little later.

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  17. Yesterday morning I roasted 6 garlic clusters for a going-away party tonight. I mashed the gooey goodness with butter for garlic bread. Yum!

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  18. Oh my! Garlic is my favorite...good stuff!

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  19. That is too funny...

    I've read a lot of posts about gas recently...what's going on in bloggyland????

    Thanks for stopping by yesterday. ;)

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  20. Look on the bright side--you are totally Vampire-proofed at least through the weekend.

    I would have been right there, by the way. Why have four when you can have 20? Garlic rocks.

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  21. You know, coming from a culture of "more is better" when dealing with food, medicinal, alcoholic, or controlled substances (you know, 1 drink is good, 3 are better, or 2 aspirin are good, 4 are better, that sort of thing), I fail to see the problem.

    Is there a problem here? (Heh-heh-heh.)

    TP

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  22. I had no idea what eating too much garlic would do!
    Hubby can always tell when I've had the Smart Ones Santa Fe Rice from the strong garlic aroma. Imagine if I shared a meal with you!
    Loved your story. Keep them coming!

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  23. You are so funny... I didn't think I would ever meet anyone who ate more garlic than me! I have to say, though, I don't think I could do 20...I could probably make it to 15 easily, but 20 - WOW!

    I don't realize how much garlic we use until we have friends or family over and we always get flack about how much we load into almost everything we make!

    I have to empathize with all of the ways it "finds its way out"! I feel your pain, or shall I say your "aroma"!

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  24. Well I will certainly heed your warning..LOL. I didn't even know there was such a thing as "too much garlic".

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  25. ok, I usually have a good laugh on the inside with many of the posts i read daily... however, this one had me literally LAUGHING OUT LOUD!

    how does one eat garlic like that? i mean, i've heard of eating a clove or something, but for like health reasons... is there a way they serve it as like an appetizer or something like that?

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  26. Garlic is yummy--I'd eat that many too :)

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  27. You are freakin' hilarious. I am still laughing as I type this.

    Thanks for the warning!!! I've never eaten roasted garlic cloves. I think I'll stay away from them. I've heard bad things about garlic herbal supplements too. My brother had a run in with those and burped garlic for a week. hahahaha!

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  28. Sniff sniff sniff... Hey, what's that smell?

    Truly truly funny post...I laughed the whole way through it!

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  29. Oh my word! This is so funny! Thanks for giving me something to smile about tonight. I could so see me doing something like this.

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  30. So funny. I smelled garlic for my entire pregnancy with Henry and it drove me insane, it nearly ruined my relationship with my husband. I just can't eat garlic plain. The effects justify my decision :)

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  31. oh my...this is too funny. glad you are on the west coast girl, we might have been able to smell it from here! great post, you are hilarious!

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  32. My baby boy is looking at me like I am crazy because I am ROFL!

    I've never eaten roasted garlic cloves. Sounds interesting! I DO love Italian food.

    BTW - I did find out (the hard way) that garlic can cause a young child to, well 'lose her lunch' so to speak. Even if it is mixed into a recipe - like tomato sauce.

    Thanks for the good belly laugh!

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  33. That is classic! So funny. Honestly, I would never have known either that that much garlic would have those kind of side effects.

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  34. I've never had roasted garlic and whilst it might be yummy, I now know NOT to have twenty.

    This was so funny Laurel. Seriously, I'm rolling!

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  35. Well at least you don't have to worry about vampires!

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  36. LOL I've never tried roasted garlic before to just eat. Despite the smellyness I just may have to look this up and give it a try!
    Saw you started following my Twitterings ;) Glad I'm not alone out there hehe

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  37. I've never had roasted garlic cloves...and now I'm not sure I ever will after reading your story!!! ha ha!!

    p.s. Can't wait to see what kind of google searches you get from this post...

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