Thank you so much to everyone who chimed in on my last post, where I asked for some advice regarding the crazy neighborhood family's little girl, and her friendship with my daughter.
You guys rock. And had some SERIOUSLY good advice.
Which I'm going to take.
Communication with the mother is just not going to happen, though. This was our one and only conversation:
Me, to boyfriend: Is it okay for Amanda to come inside the house to play?
Boyfriend: I guess. Wait, let me ask her mother.
He then yells something into the house to the girl's mom.
Mother, coming out onto the patio and looking at me like I'm crazy: WHAT is it that you want?
Me: I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you if Amanda came inside the house. I don't know what your rules are, so...
Mother: YES, it's fine.
Then she turned and walked back into the house, obviously annoyed that I had bothered her.
After that I stopped asking, and just let the poor girl in the house. I figured if her parents suddenly wanted to find her, I'd be a logical stop.
The next time I hear Amanda calling for Gabi, I'll go out and tell her that she needs to knock (since telling an adult would be pointless). And I'll continue to invite her over once or twice a week, while enforcing our house rules and keeping a close eye on the girls while they play.
We'll see how it goes!
Good luck Laural! That is such a touch situation and it is such a shame that poor Amanda is growing up in such a terrible, unloving environment.
ReplyDeleteWow! I had missed that whole previous post. What a predicament!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
That sounds like an excellent plan! I hope that things go well, and that the mother eventually pulls her head out of her rear.
ReplyDeleteThat's a sticky situation. I hope it all works out for you. I'm sure that little girl is happy to be in a stable environment, even for the short time she plays at your house.
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by my blog today!
ReplyDeleteI somehow missed the previous post also!
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago my girls (1st and
3rd grade at the time) had sleepovers for their birthdays. I was AMAZED at the number of parents whom I'd never met that dropped their daughters off at my house without even coming inside. Maybe seeing me on the room-parent and PTO board lists made them not think a thing about it.
I think it was SO great that you went over and asked!! And you're right...you'll probably be the first place they look if they can't find her. Good for you!
ReplyDeletei couldn't comment yesterday bc i couldn't decide who to be...
ReplyDeletethe teacher in me says you need to hotline the mom asap. and the mom in me says you just need to wrap her up in your arms and adopt her.
thankfully you got better advice than that yesterday :)
i am really sorry you are in this situation - once again gabi is a very lucky little girl to have such a great mama.
Good luck. I hope that little girl is ok.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with the way you are going to handle it. I think you are a very amazing mom to not close the door completely because that would be the easier route. Gabi is very lucky. You are a mom who wants to figure things out, for the RIGHT reasons. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteYou sure did get great advice... I look forward to hearing updates about how it's all going!
ReplyDeleteIt seems like there is always one of those children in every neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteI think you came to a good compromise.
We have this plan for our bunch of neighborhood kids.
I keep our front doors open (you can see through the glass storm doors) signaling we are up and dressed and ready for company.
If the front doors are closed it means the kids cannot play for whatever reason. Too early, too late, grounded. ;-)
If they ring the bell while the doors are shut we do not answer, but almost all the kids know our rules.
Luckily we don't have the yelling neighbor you have. Ha!
Good luck!
Good choice, Laural. I was going to suggest that you move and avoid the whole situation altogether. ;)
ReplyDeleteSounds like this little girl's home life isn't so great. geez...
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she loves coming to your house and getting a little break once in awhile.
Sounds like a good plan. Please let us know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteSounds like this poor girl needs structure and love.
I think you're doing exactly the right thing. I hope it works out for everyone involved. It will prob take several times of her yelling and you telling her not to for it to sink in, but stick to it!
ReplyDelete