I Just Paid For TWO Lunches... For Myself

There was a little mishap in the cafe today, and I ended up having to purchase two lunches.

It was totally my fault for getting salad from the salad bar before realizing I really wanted a Greek chicken wrap. I mean, REALLY wanted. There's just something about tzatziki that gets me every time. Plus, it came with fries topped with feta cheese. So I'll own up to that.

But I thought it was still worth a shot at trying to get out of the salad.

I saw the head chef, who I'm chummy with, and went up to him and said the following, "Hey! I'm having a dilemma of epic proportions. Ha ha ha. Get it? Proportions? Portions? Yeah, anyway, I got this salad but now I want to get the Greek wrap. Ha ha."

To which he responded, "Well, just take the salad home with you and, wallah (or however you spell that), dinner!" And then turned back to stocking coffee cups.

I don't think I'm going to be all that chummy with the head chef anymore. He obviously knew what I was getting at, and didn't offer to take my salad in the back and discreetly dispose of it, and thus caused me to suffer utter embarrassment.

I mean, I guess I could've at that point just walked out with the salad. But after what he said, if I'd done that, it would've been obvious that I was trying to get him to get rid of my salad. And while it WAS kind of obvious, it wasn't OBVIOUS obvious. So I had no choice but to say, "Great idea!" and go get a Greek chicken wrap.

Also, I think he was watching me to make sure I didn't stick the salad behind the soup tureen or soda fountain. Which I should've just done in the first place.

So I had to carry two giant styrofoam containers up to the cashier and stand in line pretending it was the most normal thing in the world. It is very hard to act nonchalant about having two lunches in your hands when you look like you've had two lunches too many on your hips.

(Oh, believe me, they've heard a thing or two from me about the styrofoam. But it's cheaper, so they won't switch.)

And of course, this would be the day I get stopped by every single person I know on my way back to my desk. And they were all totally eyeballing my lunches.

Because no one does that. Even people who want to do that, don't. Ever.

I wanted to yell at them that it was an ACCIDENT! That I wasn't overindulging, it's just that I can't pass up Greek, and then I somehow found myself in a double lunch disaster. It wasn't my fault! Oh, and wanna buy my salad? 'Cause I'm not going to eat it, but I'd really love to recoup the cost.

Instead I had to hold my head up high and act like two giant styrofoam containers for lunch were the most normal thing in the world. And even though I could see the questioning look in their eyes, I didn't give any of them the satisfaction of an answer.

I was actually hoping they'd think one of the containers was a side salad (wrong size, but maybe the cafe was out of the small ones?) or that one of the lunches was for my boss. Which could totally be the case, since I AM asked on occasion to get him coffee (and no, I don't mind, since he's most humble about it, and gives me awesome Christmas gift cards).

At least the Greek chicken wrap was as good as I'd hoped it would be! Yes, it was a Greek chicken wrap kind of day for sure, so I'm glad I ended up with it. Extra salad and all.

And who knows, maybe I'll start a trend around here.