Friday, September 12, 2008

I Just Paid For TWO Lunches... For Myself

There was a little mishap in the cafe today, and I ended up having to purchase two lunches.

It was totally my fault for getting salad from the salad bar before realizing I really wanted a Greek chicken wrap. I mean, REALLY wanted. There's just something about tzatziki that gets me every time. Plus, it came with fries topped with feta cheese. So I'll own up to that.

But I thought it was still worth a shot at trying to get out of the salad.

I saw the head chef, who I'm chummy with, and went up to him and said the following, "Hey! I'm having a dilemma of epic proportions. Ha ha ha. Get it? Proportions? Portions? Yeah, anyway, I got this salad but now I want to get the Greek wrap. Ha ha."

To which he responded, "Well, just take the salad home with you and, wallah (or however you spell that), dinner!" And then turned back to stocking coffee cups.

I don't think I'm going to be all that chummy with the head chef anymore. He obviously knew what I was getting at, and didn't offer to take my salad in the back and discreetly dispose of it, and thus caused me to suffer utter embarrassment.

I mean, I guess I could've at that point just walked out with the salad. But after what he said, if I'd done that, it would've been obvious that I was trying to get him to get rid of my salad. And while it WAS kind of obvious, it wasn't OBVIOUS obvious. So I had no choice but to say, "Great idea!" and go get a Greek chicken wrap.

Also, I think he was watching me to make sure I didn't stick the salad behind the soup tureen or soda fountain. Which I should've just done in the first place.

So I had to carry two giant styrofoam containers up to the cashier and stand in line pretending it was the most normal thing in the world. It is very hard to act nonchalant about having two lunches in your hands when you look like you've had two lunches too many on your hips.

(Oh, believe me, they've heard a thing or two from me about the styrofoam. But it's cheaper, so they won't switch.)

And of course, this would be the day I get stopped by every single person I know on my way back to my desk. And they were all totally eyeballing my lunches.

Because no one does that. Even people who want to do that, don't. Ever.

I wanted to yell at them that it was an ACCIDENT! That I wasn't overindulging, it's just that I can't pass up Greek, and then I somehow found myself in a double lunch disaster. It wasn't my fault! Oh, and wanna buy my salad? 'Cause I'm not going to eat it, but I'd really love to recoup the cost.

Instead I had to hold my head up high and act like two giant styrofoam containers for lunch were the most normal thing in the world. And even though I could see the questioning look in their eyes, I didn't give any of them the satisfaction of an answer.

I was actually hoping they'd think one of the containers was a side salad (wrong size, but maybe the cafe was out of the small ones?) or that one of the lunches was for my boss. Which could totally be the case, since I AM asked on occasion to get him coffee (and no, I don't mind, since he's most humble about it, and gives me awesome Christmas gift cards).

At least the Greek chicken wrap was as good as I'd hoped it would be! Yes, it was a Greek chicken wrap kind of day for sure, so I'm glad I ended up with it. Extra salad and all.
And who knows, maybe I'll start a trend around here.


  1. ....ah darn. hope your salad isn't all wilty and nastified when you get home. yeah, i said "nastified."

  2. Just think of it as extra veggies!

    I wish I liked Greek food! I do, I really do. Everyone who talks about it makes it sound so yummy. Even your wrap sounded good. But I can't stomach the ingredients. Yeah, I kinda suck that way.

  3. Too bad you're not pregnant like me. Then no one would have questioned it ;)

    PS- I love greek salads! Now you've made me hungry, lol.

  4. Too bad you couldn't have just stashed the salad box somewhere while no one was looking. ;-)
    I don't think anyone noticed do you? I would have just assumed you were either getting food for someone else OR that they had chocolate cake for dessert. Now THAT is worth being seen with two boxes. :-)

  5. I wouldn't worry about it. I never would have even thought twice if I saw you with 2 containers. I'm sure no one thought of anything, which is usually the case when you think everyone is thinking something.

  6. I think you should have stood on your desk and proclaimed to the office at the top of your lungs, "I have 2 lunches!! Deal with it!!"

    Or something less obnxious:-) Hee,hee, hee.

  7. Isn't it funny how when you have too much on your hips, that we assume people are judging us for our eating habits? When probably it is totally not the case.

    I love Greek food. And the first weekend in October is the Greek festival here. Is it wrong that we are going to blow off church to go? It's educational... :-)

    And I wanted to say thank you for visiting me earlier this week on my Georgia day via BATW.

  8. dude that would have been totally normal for me. I would have picked at both of them, and than threw the left overs in the trash! Bad I know, I am trying to get better at this... baby steps!

  9. that is exactly how i would have spelled wallah.

    how would you spell out a whistle? whew whew?

    ok sorry back on topic...i say next time "own" the two boxes - you know the people were only looking bc they were jealous that you were eating two lunches.

    really jealous :)

  10. That made me chuckle. Ooh, and the chicken wrap sounds yummy. Glad to hear it was worth the embarassment.
    Oh, I almost forgot, it's 'voila', French for 'there.' :)

  11. I'm not saying this just to make you feel better:
    but buying two lunches is totally a regular thing for me.
    I also buy 5 desserts. In a row.
    And just now? I ate two dinners.

    I swear, I'm not kidding. So don't feel bad.

  12. I had to laugh because I could totally imagine myself in that situation and doing the same thing. That chicken wrap sounds dee-licious. You did have a salad and a wrap. It's not like you came back with a wrap and a burger.

  13. If you hadn't gotten the greek wrap and just stuck with the salad you would have been disappointed all day. Good Choice! Also, nice job holding you head high during the entire 2 lunch ordeal. I think I would have dropped the salad off at someone's deask and said, "surprise! I picked up lunch for you. Have a great day!"

  14. Awesome.
    That is so totally something that I would've done. The sad thing is, nobody at my office would have looked at me funny for doing it :/
    I'm glad your wrap was good, though :) I fully believe that that makes it worth it.

  15. Did he mean, "Voila!" ???
    OK, did I hear something about fries with feta on them? Where can I get some of those, and like NOW. I think I may have just stashed the salad and not said anything. But then again, that's just me. ;)

  16. Tell them you usually get three but you're on a diet right now ;)

  17. You. are. hilarious.

    I pity the co-worker that would even question your two styrofoam boxes.

    It's your can eat what you want to!!!

  18. I think you should have gone somewhere in plain view of everyone and DUG IN to TWO lunches. Like, yep, TWO lunches. I'm eating TWO. I love me some LUNCH.

  19. I think you should have walked up to a co-worker, dropped the salad and said " It was $4.25, but you can just catch me later!" before walking away.
    Someone else would ahve felt like the DA of the day......:)

  20. Now I want the greek chicken wrap too, that sounds delicious!

  21. You could have just walked by everyone saying... It's a salad, okay!! Buzz off!

    Or not.

    Tzatziki is like heaven's nectar. Love it. And fries with feta???? Um, YUM!!


  22. Funny! This cracked me up. At least the chicken wrap was yummy after all that! -Julia :-)

  23. good thing it was worth it. i totally would have thought every single thought you did about what was running through people's minds. and i would have also hoped and prayed that they thought it was a side salad, or for my boss etc. in reality, i'll betcha noone really thought anything of it! well, you can think that, it would make you feel better!

  24. Do I tell you often enough how much I love your blog stories?
    I do.
    Love. Them.
    No one could make these things more funny than you.
    You had me at tzaziki . . . but fries with feta?
    I've got a phrase in this house - feta makes everything betta!
    I'm glad it was worth buying two lunches!


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