I don't think Jesus is going to strike me down for eating meat on Good Friday. But Gilberto's mom does.
Every year we forget that the Friday before Easter is Good Friday. It just doesn't cross our minds. So every year Gilberto will call me in a panic after receiving a call from him mom bright and early in the morning.
Gilberto: Laural! We can't eat meat today! DON'T EAT MEAT!
Me: Gilberto, that's silly. You know it doesn't matter if we eat meat today.
Gilberto: Just don't do it, okay? Better to be on the safe side, you know?
Me: Honey, nothing is going to happen!
Gilberto: OH MY GOD, JUST DON'T EAT THE F***ING MEAT TODAY!
Me: Okay, fine, whatever.
And I don't. 'Cause I'm a good wife like that.
This year his mom called while he was driving to work. The calls are actually quite funny. She says hi and wishes him a happy Good Friday, to which he expresses surprise, and she freaks out that he didn't know and could've eaten meat, and he gets upset that he almost damned his soul, and she spends the rest of the conversation making him promise over and over again that he'll stay true to his roots and not eat meat, and he spends the rest of the conversation promising. And then he immediately calls me.
I got my Good Friday wake-up call at 7:00 this morning.
Gilberto: I can't eat the lunch you packed for me, it has meat in it!
Me: What? Can't eat the lunch? Oh, is it Good Friday? Did your mom call?
Gilberto: YES, she called. Or I would've eaten it! It would've been awful! I could be in hell right now!
Me: It's not like I tried to poison you! I just forgot! My goodness.
Gilberto: Laural, just promise me that you won't eat meat. And that includes Gabi.
Gilberto: DON'T YOU DARE FEED MEAT TO MY BABY TODAY!
Me: Okay! Chill out! I wasn't planning to!
Gilberto: You'll be sorry if you give her any meat. Just sayin'. Love you, bye.
The warning isn't without warrant, because the rebel in me is already wanting to do something sinful like roast a pig on a stick on the back patio, or eat a cheeseburger for lunch, just to prove him wrong. But I won't. Plus, Gabi's old enough to tell on me.
No meat today.