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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Bed Interrupted

It's 3:20 a.m. 

Gilberto has started to snore.  It's his choking snore.  I can handle his regular snore, but the choking one I CAN NOT.  It stops if he rolls off his back onto his side.

Me: Gilberto, roll over.

Gilberto doesn't move.

Me: GILBERTO.  Roll over, hon. 

Gilberto: Wha?

Me: You're snoring. You need to roll over.

Gilberto shuffles his body a little and then turns his head away from me.

Me: No, honey.  Your whole body.  Roll over and take your body with you.

Gilberto: Wha?

Me: ROLL OVER, honey.  Your WHOLE BODY.

Gilberto shuffles his body again, then turns his head back towards me.

Me: NO, HONEY!  You have to roll your WHOLE BODY!

Gilberto: Wha?

Me: Oh my gosh, Gilberto.  ROLL YOUR WHOLE BODY OVER!  YOUR WHOLE BODY! 

Gilberto: What's going on? 

Me: You are SNORING.  And you're starting to roll over and then just rolling your HEAD.  YOU NEED TO ROLL YOUR WHOLE BODY!  JUST DO IT!  JUST ROLL OVER!

Gilberto: Whoa, no problem.  No need to yell.  Hmphh.

He rolls over onto his side and the snoring stops.  Blessed silence!

It's 5:15 a.m.  Gilberto has rolled back over onto his back and is CHOKE SNORING.

OH MY GOOD HEAVENS.

12 comments:

  1. You need to get him one of those baby sleep positioners, except man sized. or, in my house, cold feet to the back usually does it.

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  2. This is a senario that could take place in our house, any night of the week.
    Just replace Gilberto for Andrew.

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  3. Oh, I know that one well! It happens a lot less since Ken has dropped so much weight, but some nights I still wish I could roll him out of bed, onto the floor, out the door, and down the stairs!

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  4. Been there. I find a one finger poke somewhere around the bottom of the rib cage on the side of the body does the trick. Requires no speaking.

    :)

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  5. LOL. This same show plays almost nightly at our house. I love how he's always baffled in the extreme why I am talking to him. You'd think after 13 years it wouldn't be such a mystery. :)

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  6. I feel your pain. This is why I have to go to bed before my husband for the most part ;)

    I'm not so nice as to ask him to roll over anymore. I poke him. Hard. And I'm debating him wear a tennis ball taped to the back of a t-shirt to keep him from laying on his back.... Just a though!

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  7. I SO know this feeling. My husband likes to cuddle which means he's doing an annoying snore-y thing RIGHT IN MY EAR.

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  8. Earplugs saved my marriage. But you have a small child, so that might not work for you.

    Choke snoring is not good if it's a regular thing. Could be sleep apnea.

    If he doesn't believe he snores, get a tape recorder and tape him!

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  9. This is me and my husband too.

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  10. Two words - Ear Plugs. Or is that one word? haha :)

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  11. I was in hysterics reading this! You're nicer than me though. I just give my husband a good shove until he rolls over to escape my abuse!

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  12. Oh. Preaching to the choir sister. My husband gets all pissy when I 'wake him up' to get him to stop snoring. Yes. I should just lie awake all night enjoying the beautiful nasal tunes.

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