I was working at my desk while Mason napped on the bed near me when Gabi slammed open the bedroom door and ran to my side. I was about to lay into her when she said the most horrifying words.
Gabi: MOM!! Dad's on the computer and we're looking at baby ducks! We're going to get a duck!
Oh HELL no!
You may be thinking, Oh Laural, chill! They're probably just pulling your leg!
But I know something about my husband that you do not. And that thing is that he once owned his very own pet duck. And he is constantly hinting that he would like to get another pet duck. For the children.
So far I've been able to brush the comments off and hope that he gets over it. Or buys us a farm. But there was something about Gabi's excitement that immediately put me on high alert.
And then I heard Gilberto trying to get Gabi's attention by whisper yelling from the living room.
Gilberto: Gabeeeeee, come back! Don't tell mom, Gabi! Shhhhh. Come BACK! You're going to ruin everything!
I was down those stairs faster than I've ever been before.
Me: What on earth are you DOING? You KNOW we're not getting a pet duck!
Gilberto: Come on, honey! It would be awesome!
Me: Have you lost your mind?! We can't get a dog because our house is so small, but you want a duck that will quack and shed feathers and crap everywhere?
Gilberto: But you can train a duck! My duck was trained! It only pooped in it's box! Well, in the room where the box was. But not anywhere else! And it followed me around and...
Gabi: There are mini-pigs, too, mom! Dad said maybe we could get a pig!
Gilberto: The pigs cost $350, but the baby ducks are only $5!
Two sets of hopeful eyes were trained up at me. Pleading with me to say yes.
I quickly made it clear that pets, especially ducks and pigs, are NOT an option for us. Gabi ran to her room to cry, and Gilberto dejectedly turned back to his computer. No doubt promising to himself to never let the pet duck dream die.
This must be my punishment for trying to figure out how to hide a chicken coop on my patio from the HOA.