Friday, May 27, 2011

Happy To Be Duck Free

I was working at my desk while Mason napped on the bed near me when Gabi slammed open the bedroom door and ran to my side.  I was about to lay into her when she said the most horrifying words.

Gabi: MOM!! Dad's on the computer and we're looking at baby ducks! We're going to get a duck!

Oh HELL no!

You may be thinking, Oh Laural, chill!  They're probably just pulling your leg!

But I know something about my husband that you do not. And that thing is that he once owned his very own pet duck. And he is constantly hinting that he would like to get another pet duck. For the children.

So far I've been able to brush the comments off and hope that he gets over it. Or buys us a farm. But there was something about Gabi's excitement that immediately put me on high alert.

And then I heard Gilberto trying to get Gabi's attention by whisper yelling from the living room.

Gilberto: Gabeeeeee, come back! Don't tell mom, Gabi! Shhhhh. Come BACK! You're going to ruin everything!

I was down those stairs faster than I've ever been before.

Me: What on earth are you DOING? You KNOW we're not getting a pet duck!

Gilberto: Come on, honey! It would be awesome!

Me: Have you lost your mind?! We can't get a dog because our house is so small, but you want a duck that will quack and shed feathers and crap everywhere?

Gilberto: But you can train a duck! My duck was trained! It only pooped in it's box! Well, in the room where the box was. But not anywhere else! And it followed me around and...

Gabi: There are mini-pigs, too, mom! Dad said maybe we could get a pig!

Gilberto: The pigs cost $350, but the baby ducks are only $5!

Two sets of hopeful eyes were trained up at me. Pleading with me to say yes.

I quickly made it clear that pets, especially ducks and pigs, are NOT an option for us. Gabi ran to her room to cry, and Gilberto dejectedly turned back to his computer. No doubt promising to himself to never let the pet duck dream die.

This must be my punishment for trying to figure out how to hide a chicken coop on my patio from the HOA.


  1. And you know who would be taking care of the pets!
    Let's hope you don't come home some day to find he has decided to surprise you. ;-)

  2. I say let him get the duck ... then one day, you can surprise him with an amazing dinner ...

    And just think, it would only have cost $5. You know they charge FAR more in the chinese restaurants!

  3. I loved the part: No doubt promising to himself to never let the pet duck dream die!

    And I love even more when you shared with us these stories! I love Gabi stories! hahaha

    Have a nice weekend!


  4. Hehe...I love Jill's comment. Remember, Gilberto grew up in BRAZIL. if it was anything like Hong Kong (ie - hot, humid and prone to mold), then his house (and FLOORS) were made of cement. ;-) There's a BIG difference. haha

  5. Jill's comment was hilarious, and LoLo made an excellent point. A duck's not gonna fly in a carpeted American house!

    Make him watch a couple episodes of Friends from when they get the duck so he can see what having a duck in the US is like. :)

    Good luck!

  6. You stick to your guns, Laural!!! A duck? No WAY!!! Maybe they would settle for a least its in a cage and won't poop all over your floor. That picture is a crack-up though. hahaha ;)

  7. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh LOL! On a sadder note... my mom lives in the country and they just got 6 ducks. They only have one left. Either a raccoon or coyote got 4 one night and one the next.
    Hope you have better duck luck.

  8. Funny! You need to take him to the duck pond near U of O....that will cure his duck blues.

  9. we had "pet" ducks when i was little. i was about 6 or 7 and we lived in the city. and i was CRUSHED when they were served for thanksgiving dinner. no, we were not that type of farming family so it never occurred to me that my pets were going to end up on the table. from crib in house (as baby ducklings) to dinner. not my idea of a "pet." :-/

  10. My sister has ducks... well... duck. The others were brutally slain by a coyote or raccoon or eagle or something. She also has chickens. But she also has an acre of backyard in which to house them and let them roam free.
    Baby ducks (and chickens) are STINKY until they're old enough to be put outside. Well, maybe in CA it's warm enough. In WA it's too freakin' cold, and that box of baby bird poo... I mean baby birds... STINKS!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.