Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Another Embarrassing Day At The Office

My sister flew in from Oregon last night. She'll be gracing us with her presence for 10 days, and to start her trip off on a sisterly note, I'm blaming her for the outfit I'm wearing today. Mostly because she's here and I can. But also because she made me eat way too much Greek food at dinner last night and kept me up past my bedtime.

It was sister sabotage at it's finest.

So, back to the clothing. I woke up bloated and tired, and proceeded to make a very bad choice of pants and shirt.

I knew they were a bit casual for my office, but I work in IT, and the boss is gone today, so I figured all that along with the bloated feeling definitely justified some casual clothes. Dark capri khakis and a feminine polo type shirt. Very Hamptons. Who doesn't love the Hamptons? I thought, I can totally get away with this.

It wasn't until I got to work that I noticed my khakis have a hole in them. Just above my left knee, and just big enough for other people to notice. It wouldn't be so bad if my LILY WHITE SKIN wasn't such a contrast to the color of the pants. At first, I thought it was white batting peeking through, until I realized my pants weren't thick enough for batting. Nope, it's me.

You'd think I'd have a tan, living in San Diego, but I haven't show skin above the knee to anyone but my husband since I gave birth to Gabi.

As I sat here staring at the hole in my pants wishing I'd laid out in the sun a bit this summer, I thought, oh well, it's just one little hole. It's not like no one has ever made the mistake of wearing something with a hole in it before. It'll totally be fine.

And then not five minutes later while I was washing my hands in the bathroom, I looked at my reflection and saw another hole. In my shirt. Right on my left boob. And the reason it was so noticeable? Well, I'm wearing a BRIGHT PINK BRA. That's right, bright pink. Not my usual choice, but I was so tired this morning I just grabbed the closest bra on hand.

So if you were to, say, walk past me in the hallway, your eyes would be immediately drawn to the bright pink spot on my left boob. And then downwards to the glaring white hole in my pants. And I might have to lie and say I just popped in to grab some papers before heading off to help the environment by cleaning trash off the beach. That's about the only thing that would explain my clothing choice. And is much more believable than sister sabotage (which is actually true).

So much for my Hamptons look.

One hole, maybe. Two holes, no way. I would go home and change if I didn't live so darn far away. The good thing is that my boss IS out of the office today, and I don't have any meetings or need to get up from my desk. I think I can hide out and then make a run for my car at five.

My only issue is lunch. How the heck am I going to get lunch?

At least I'm wearing really cute shoes.


  1. OMG, Laural, I am laughing. so. freaking. hard!! I laughed so hard I managed to make my nearly asleep little girl wake up laughing!!
    There are 2 great things that come of this: 1) amazing time with your sister and 2)I LOVE your shoes! Where, oh where, did you get them?!

  2. You poor thing! Reminds of my post a few weeks ago when I walked out of the house with my shirt on backwards and a big spit up stain on the back. I spoke to neighbors, went on a couple errands, passed no less than 20 people and then on the way home noticed it.
    I am sure no one is noticing your holes though with those cute shoes!

  3. snort :)

    seriously honey i laughed out loud!

    dying to know what you did for lunch?? did you order food sent directly to your desk??

    and that lucky, lucky delivery guy- a glimpse at a pink bra :)

    ps - pretty sure if anyone saw you today they only looked at your shoes. they are super cute!!

  4. I look like that every day! I guess that's a benefit to staying at home!

    That outfit sounds like one I might have pulled together back in the day after a night at the bar! Sure it wasn't the Mythos??

  5. HAHA! I love it! I've totally had days like that. I'm so jealous that you get to have your sister for the next 10 days! Enjoy your time with her :)
    (Really really cute shoes, by the way!)

  6. Very cute shoes! Once I went to work wearing white pants and hot pink panties because ORIGINALLY I was wearing black pants, and changed my mind and the last minute. So there I am, pink panties, white pants and NO JACKET to cover up.
    The only good thing is I no longer work with those people. LOL

  7. LOL! Those sisters I tell ya! I like the shoes! :)

  8. hahahaha! The shoes definitely make up for the outfit. Love those!

    P.S. Glad you found the book. I enjoyed both even though they were sooooo different. Like I said, I watched the movie first so I had no expectations. I guess it just depends on your preference...

  9. Those ARE cute shoes. That's too funny -- I'm only laughing because it wasn't my day to be embarrased at the office, although I'm sure my time will roll around soon!

    I have been looking back through your previous blogs, and I just saw a maggot being pulled out of a woman's head. I fear that is a site that will forever be burrowed into my head ... so ... umm... thanks. I think I'll share it with my hubby now, lol

  10. oh my goodness, a Glamour Don't! Remember that page in the very back of Glamour magazine where they'd take pics of random women in the street wearing Glamour-disapproved ensembles?

    You win the Glamour Don't Disclaimer Award. Late night, sister, Greek are excused.

  11. Oh, and the shoes TOTALLY are a Glamour Do!

  12. very cute shoes, I must say. the pink spot...just think it's kind of being cotour. ;-) all your it, baby!

  13. Too funny!

    Yeah, it's too late for advice now, otherwise I might have suggested you stomp down the halls so that everyone looks at your feet and is mesmerized by your shoes never noticing either gaping hole in your wardrobe malfunctioning outfit.

  14. Ok, just to make you feel better.
    One summer vacation my supposed best friend and I enjoyed a day at an outdoor waterslide. I was wearing a really gorgeous bright blue one piece swim suit. Every time I would go down the slide I noticed more and more guys looking and waving at me. I mentioned to my friend how strange that was because even though my suit was pretty cute I was after all just an awkward teen with acne and a bad perm. She just smiled and said "let's keep going!"
    Come to find out when we were ready to leave someone tells me I have a HUGE hole down the seam of my bathing suit the size of a half dollar right at my butt crack! Seems THAT is what everyone was enjoying smiling at!
    And no, we are not friends any longer.

  15. I've been there before, when I worked outside of the house, when there were holes under the armpits and stains on the shirt.

    You worded it so well, it was very funny!

  16. Cute shoes, too.

    Hope you made it to lunch without anybody noticing!

  17. It was most certainly your sister's fault. Good thinking to send Gabi in to rearrrange dollhouse furniture. It sounds like you have gotten your revenge. I can't wait to hear what she does next.

    Have a fun visit with your sister.

  18. This has happened to me, but luckily I was wearing an easy-to-match color like black. I took a marker and colored my skin underneath the hole! Yes, I'm serious.


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