Thursday, August 14, 2008

They're Never Going To Call Again

Gilberto, Gabi and I ventured downtown last night to meet up with some friends for dinner who are in town, that we haven't seen for a while. Actually, not since their wedding in Colorado last September (in which Gabi was their flower girl, and managed to get into all of their cake cutting pictures).

All I can think about was how dorky I was with my missing brain filter.

You know what I'm talking about. Most people are blessed with a filter in the brain that holds back inappropriate comments until they've had time to properly formulate them and/or not use them. Yeah, I don't have that.

And it gets worse when I want to appear to be all cool and likable and witty. The filter just starts dumping stuff out of my mouth and I end up looking like the biggest one woman freak show ever.

Last night I was on a roll. I do believe I even threw out the word cocaine in the middle of what was, up to that point, a perfectly normal part of the conversation.

I didn't even need a single drop of alcohol to help things along. Though one sip is really all it takes anymore. Seriously, one sip and my nose goes numb. You really have to build up your tolerance after you haven't had anything after being pregnant for nine months plus nursing. I just haven't had the time?

Our friends even wanted to order a bottle of wine, and must've saw the deer caught in headlights look I gave to Gilberto, immediately thinking ahead to him having to carry me passed out drunk as a skunk to the car, and quickly thought better of it. We all had a lovely round of soda instead.

And to top it all off, when our friends thought desert might be nice, I said, "Oh! It's a tough choice, but I'd rather have more of my turkey!" And that idea was squelched. I think you're supposed to say yes, you'd love some desert, because otherwise no one else will feel comfortable getting it. So even if you don't want any, and would rather eat more bacon wrapped turkey, it's best to go with desert. They probably went out for pie or ice cream afterwards.

We are so going to be the friends that they have to keep their vacations from. Some day they'll be all, remember that trip to San Diego in 2009? Wasn't that so great? And we'll be all, hey, I don't remember you being here in 2009?


  1. haha I'm sure it wasn't that bad, but at the same time I totally understand because I'm the same darned way...

  2. I hear ya- sometimes I just trip over myself and it's a chain reaction from there. ALthough I never turn down desert- although CLEARLY I should. ;) But since one sip of alcohol does me in too- chocolate is how i get my fix. Of course, bacon wrapped turkey sounds delish too...ok all food is my sanity.

  3. We do a bacon wrapped turkey for Thanksgiving--yum--so I totally get the comment ;)

  4. I guarantee it's never as bad as you think it was!!! I'm the same with alcohol too, half a glass of wine and I'm dancing on the table, lol!

  5. Haha! I am always doing stuff like that. But the question I have is what conversation were you having where you blurted out "cocaine" lmao!

  6. hahaha, I am always like that. I have few friends that understand my sense of "humor", I always say things that are not appropriate to the moment...always, than I regret and want to dig a whole and stick my head in there. haha. But in my case the alcohol would save me, everytime I drink (which is not often), I feel sleepy and get very quiet... that would be a good weapon for Bryan to use against me when I am saying inappropriate things. :)

  7. I've given up. I have accepted that I was made without those filters that keep me from saying the wrong thing and just leave it to my husband or whoever to explain that I just say whatever is on my mind.

    Luckily my friends have either a) gotten used to it b)like me in spite of it or c) like me BECAUSE of it.

  8. Thanks for my morning laugh Laural!
    BTW, I am one of the ones always wanting dessert and someone else always says "nah." As much as I inwardly pout for a minute or two it would never be a friendship breaker. You are safe to assume you will be revisted again soon!

    Next time make some note cards with appropriate subjects and in big bold letters write,

  9. I always joke that my brain-mouth connection filter is missing too.

  10. have i told you lately that i love you? bc i do :)

    u crack me up and really we are two peas in a pod. i have no filter at all. my poor husband, always sitting mouth agape at what spews forth from his wife!

  11. I have so been there! I sometimes think to myself "Did that really just come out or did I just think it?" And then the reality hits because someone answers!

    I have another great book for you to check out - I am half way through and it has, well lets just say, rocked my world in terms of food and dieting...Check it out if you haven't already - Skinny B*tch - Lovely title!

  12. I just "love" those nights where we're out with friends and when we get home I have to do the run down of what I said that night... did I say something that offends them? Or did I say something that makes me look stupid?

  13. I hear ya! If I make one mistake in a conversation, I start second-guessing myself and just say more and more of the wrong things! Then I have to hope I'll still have friends the next day!

    Thanks for visiting my blog! I hope you get to read Twilight; they are wonderful books (in my opinion). Let me know what you think of them!

  14. Well, you know I wasn't listening to a thing you were saying until we started talking about cocaine...

  15. hahaha you crack me up! i have TOTALLY been there... and i've also been the one on the other end... lol


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